The Shore

He stood at the shore line with his eyes shut, whispering Her name. The name of The girl he meet at that beach. A girl that he feel in love with by the sea. A girl that he proposed to and married by that sea. Their love story was not a fairy tale. Their love was put to the test, and there were fights but no matter how hard things got they never forgot this shore. The shore reminded them of the purity of the love they shared. suddenly the cause of the argument would be put into prescriptive. Finances and other mundane things that couples seem to argue about drifted into the sea. The Beach was a sanctuary, and the shore line was an altar. With that line of thinking however one could say that would make her a sacrifice. For one day their beloved sea turned on them, and claimed her life.

The waves crashed that gray February afternoon. This beach held one thousand memories for him, perhaps more. Perhaps A memory for each grain of sand. The anguish on his face was almost unbearable to witness. The pain of loss, though now years old still left fresh wounds. Those wounds where now bleeding uncontrollably leaving his body close to lifeless. Lifeless. That's how “Life” with out her has been for him. As if when the sea took her it took his blood, his oxygen, his spirit and he was now a lifeless,soulless being who was simply existing day to day. There was an odd sensation that was ripping him apart from the inside. It was a ruthless vortex made up of a paradoxical combination of numbness and a sense of pain that was so merciless that at times he could feel the pain filling his lungs, then clogging his wind pipe and choke him violently. It was more brutal than that through because the pain would not let him pass out, or die. The pain left him to exist breathless.

Tears were pounding at the floodgates of his eyes as the turmoil continued to rage, and once more he whispered her name. As he breathed her name and for a brief beautiful moment something glorious happened, everything was fine. Her name was a drug. He could feel the sensation of it's essences racing through his veins. At first it just brought him peace, but what a fantastic feat that was. Just the sound of her name calmed the storm inside himself that only moments ago was ripping up his insides, like a hurricane uprooting trees, shutting off his vital organs one by one with out letting him know the rest of death. Now, now all that was gone and all he knew was peace. It was like an eye of a storm. That peace was soon joined by unmatchable joy. For just the sound of her name took him to another plane of existence, another state of consciousness as the smile of the lovestruck over came him. For In his mind and soul he was entangled in her arms. affection, as electrical currents, flowing through their bodies. It was the kind of affection you only see in the movies. They were young, in love, and in paradise alone together. He was overwhelmed by emotions he thought he was no longer capable of feeling. Emotions he'd given up on knowing again.As he touched her face reality hit, as did the nightmarish realization that it was just a dream. She was not really there. She was gone, as she'd been.

He looked out into the sea. All the joy it brought him and all the pain it brought him all boiling inside of him. Her angel and his demons grabbing onto his very being and with a supernatural strength ripping his soul into two very different places. A tremendous battle of hope and despair with massive casualties on both sides all taking place at his very core. He wanted to stay strong if only for the sake of her ghost. He couldn't though, the chaos brought him to his knees and he yelled her name. No one heard. He yelled her name over and over out into the sea that took her. Soon his throat became dry as sand. Exhausted from the screaming and being over run with pain he fell. His face now planted in the sand. His hands groping for something to hold on to, his tight grip only causing the sand to slip through his fingers. He wept. He wept uncontrollably, with out shame, until he had no more tears left.

Fall 2010